電車告別




我喺灣仔嘅夢呢,係發生喺汕頭街嘅電車站,至到去金鐘高等法院嘅電車站,同我爸爸一齊搭𠵱一程嘅電車。咁當其時係爸爸啱啱過咗身無幾耐嘅,咁就係個電車上面我地有一段對話。𠵱段對話同我嘅生活都幾息息相關,因為爸爸就係一個中醫師嚟嘅,佢生前。咁每次我新搬去一個地方,佢都會擔心我有無相熟嘅中醫,或者藥材舖可以執到藥呀,或者可以幫我應急,唔使下下都等佢嚟。
而嗰次喺個夢境當中,佢就同我講將我交托咗畀蔡醫師,同埋一個鐵打嘅羅師傅。咁其實我都覺得幾特別,因為我唔係咁多睇鐵打嘅講真,我整傷都唔會去睇嘅人嚟嘅。咁同埋點解佢會交托我畀一個中醫師呢,我都覺得好奇怪,因為𠵱個醫師我一啲都唔熟。
我記得爸爸交代完蔡醫師、羅師傅之後,佢好突然同我講咗句:「落車喇,你𠵱個站好落車喇。」我諗:點解要落車呢?𠵱個時候我反問:「你唔係同我一齊落㗎?」佢話:「 唔係,我要繼續向前行。你要𠵱個站落車返轉頭。」嗰時我好奇怪,好聽話衝落車。個夢就喺𠵱個時候醒咗。後來喺清醒嘅時候,我再次喺汕頭街上車,亦再次喺金鐘落車。我望望路牌,西行。點解係西行呢?𠵱件事不禁令我諗起,爸爸經常講佢要去西方極樂。雖然我係上天家,其實同西方極樂都係同一地方。我哋遲啲都會見面。
我同灣仔區嘅關係,咁巧就係當年爸爸離世嘅時候,其實我新搬咗過嚟未夠一年嘅。咁當其時同𠵱個夢境嘅關係就係,喺𠵱一年之間我有啲小病痛都會去搵一啲附近嘅中醫去睇。咁我同灣仔嘅關係就係⋯⋯我係一個當時搬入嚟嘅一個⋯⋯灣仔新嘅新抱啦,可以咁講。
咁我喺夢境當中呢係完全無印象係一個夢嚟嘅,只係覺得好奇怪就係,唉,點解我爸爸會著𠵱啲素色嘅衫,因為佢平時所有衫褲都係訂造嘅,自己設計,訂造嘅衫。而我亦都好奇怪咁著咗啲好素色嘅衫,因為我平時都⋯⋯因為嗰個時候都算係個後生女,廿零歲咁樣,我係唔會著啲好素色嘅衫。同埋嗰陣時嘅天氣亦都唔係會纜頸巾嘅天氣,但係我哋偏偏兩個都纜住一條,好似棉麻質地嘅一個頸巾啦。但嗰陣時係諗唔到佢係一個夢嚟嘅。
如果𠵱個夢畀我發多次,我可以喺夢中知道𠵱個係一個夢,我可以去控制一個夢嘅話,我諗我會同爸爸再傾多啲偈,好想攬住佢,甚至乎話畀佢聽,我𠵱家照顧得我自己好好,亦都照顧得我嘅小朋友好好,叫佢唔需要擔心。
I dreamed that I was at the tram station on Swatow Street in Wan Chai, taking a tram ride with my father from there to the station at the High Court in Admiralty. At that time, my father had just passed away, and we had a conversation on the tram that was closely related to my health, because my father was a Chinese medicine practitioner in his lifetime. Whenever I moved to a new place, he was worried if I had a familiar Chinese medicine practitioner or a herbal medicine shop where I could get medicine, and if I could self-help in case of emergency without waiting for him to come.
In that dream, he told me that he had entrusted me to two Chinese medicine practitioners Mr. Choi and Mr. Lo. I thought it was quite special because I don't usually see practitioners even if I was injured. I also wondered why he would entrust me to a Chinese medicine practitioner whom I didn't know very well.
I remember that after my father entrusted Mr. Choi and Mr. Lo, he suddenly told me, "Get off the tram, this is your stop!" I thought, “why do you want me to get off the tram?” At that time, I asked him, "Aren't you getting off with me?" He said, "No, I have to keep going forward. You have to get off at this stop and turn around." I was curious but obediently got off from there. After that, I woke up from that dream. Later on, when I was clear-headed, I took the tram again on Swatow Street and headed to Admiralty. I looked at the signage and it said 'Westbound'. Why was it heading west? It made me think of my father who often said he would go to the Sukhavati (Western Paradise). Although I am a Christian, the so-called paradise might actually be the same place. We will meet there later.
The connection between me and Wan Chai District is that when my father passed away, I had just moved there for less than a year. And for the relationship between me and that dream, it might be referring to the experience that I went to see a Chinese medicine practitioner in Wan Chai whenever I had minor illnesses. So my relationship with Wan Chai is...I was a new member, or like a bride, who had just newly joined this Wan Chai family or community at that time.
In that dream, I didn't have any impression that it was a dream. I just felt strange. Hey, why did my father wear plain clothes, because he used to wear his tailor made clothes which he designed and ordered himself. I was also curious about why we both wore plain clothes, especially at that time I was still a young woman in my twenties and I wouldn't like to wear plain clothes. And the weather was not that cold. We did not need to wear a cotton and linen scarf, but we both wore. But at that time, I didn't think that it was a dream.
If I had this dream again and I knew it was a dream, I think I would talk to my father more and want to give him a hug. I would even tell him that I am taking good care of myself and my children, and he doesn't need to worry."